a false alarm and a healthier me...

Well, the past 2 weeks have been quite a rollercoaster for me. I absolutely, positively thought I was pregnant. Erin and I are always careful but we had an oops. A big oops.
In the past, we have talked about when I should get pregnant again. Originally we decided to start trying when Gavin turned 2. Then it moved to January of 2008. Our final decision had been kind of up in the air. Until 2 weeks ago.
When I took an ovulation test (after our oops) and it had 2 lines, I had so many mixed emotions. Part of me was hoping to be pregnant and another part was thinking "no, too soon!". Gavin is such a handful right now, I couldn't imagine being pregnant and running after him. Especially after how I had such a complicated pregnancy with him. I remember feeling, and still have this feeling, that I love Gavin so much. How can I possibly have enough love for 2?
That is a question that I don't need answered right now since I am not pregnant. Just a false alarm. Am I relieved? Yea, but a bit disappointed at the same time. So, baby number 2 will just have to wait for a bit...

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If you haven't noticed, I have a ticker at the top of my page. This is a huge step for me, because I will be documenting my (attempted) weight loss. One of my biggest worries about being pregnant is being pregnant when I still have lots of weight to lose. I won't tell you how much I weigh now, maybe after it's gone, but I do have to lose about 100 lbs. That's my goal. It's going to be hard, but I think if I am public with it, it will help me stick to my goal. We'll see!

Changes

Just the other night I as I was browsing through some old pictures of Gavin, I realized just how much he has grown up. And me, being the emotional person that I am, of course got all misty-eyed. Why do the days that are filled with constant clinging, crying and defiance seem to drag on and on, yet the days on a whole, seem to go by with the blink of an eye? It's amazing how I can see Gavin's personality emerging with each picture...it's hard to believe he started out as such a tiny little person...



and is now growing up to be such a beautiful little boy...



Words just cannot express the joy I feel in knowing that this little boy is mine. It's such a blessing and an adventure to see him changing everyday right before me.

More, please!

Gavin is getting so good at signing. He knows a handful of them; eat, more, dog, no, hot, kitty, water, milk; but lately he hasn't been using them much. After visiting his hearing doctor, she told me that we, meaning Daddy, Nana, Grandma and I, are reading his mind too much. He needs to start telling us what he wants by signing or talking. This is a big deal since Gavin has mild hearing loss and wears hearing aids, he's just a little behind on his speech. So now whenever Gavin wants something, he has to "tell" us and not just reach for whatever it is. To make this an even bigger learning experience, I taught him how to sign "please". I showed him one time and he picked up on it right away! These little things about him still seem to amaze me. So all day long today he signed please for me. And then the little bugger shocked me again when he signed "more, please" when he wanted another cookie. But I would have to say the biggest achievement of the day was when he actually said "peeease". Wow. He is just growing so fast and it's so bittersweet...I want him to grow up, but I want him to be my baby forever.

Finally!

Yay! I finally got my computer fixed. (no more icky virus) So now I can finally access my account and start blogging. I'm really excited about this, but nervous at the same time. My New Years resolution was to keep a journal everyday so I wouldn't forget all the little things happening in my life. Well, that lasted about 2 weeks. But hey, I did really, really good for those 2 weeks. :) Anyway, I am hoping that I can stay on top of this and share all my quirky little stories about my little man Gavin. Heaven knows I can talk on and on about him. But, to be easy on myself, I won't be blogging EVERYDAY. I'll try for every other day. Or maybe once a week...:)