Sunday, October 28, 2007


I discovered a big "oops" about a week ago. I found out that I am pregnant with baby number 2! It was a big "oops" because Erin and I had just decided that we were going to wait until (at least) the end of next year before we would start trying for another baby. Looks like God had a different plan.
When I first found out I was totally shocked, numb, unbelieving that this was happening. What was Erin going to say? We just moved into our own place and he just got a new job. We were happy the way things were. We were happy just the three of us. So, for about the first hour that I knew I was pg, I cried. Poor little Gavin was such a sweetie to me, making sure that I was okay. That's when I knew that I needed to pull myself together. I started thinking about things and realized that this is a blessing. It took me such a long time to get pregnant the first time...and this time I didn't even have to try! I think of all the friends we have who are struggling to have babies and realized that I am thankful for the blessings that I have. When Erin came home from work and I told him the news, he felt the same emotions that I did. But he got over it. And now we are both excited about this little one that I am carrying inside of me.
But I am still scared. I broke down a few nights ago and let loose to Erin all of my fears. I'm afraid of the pregnancy itself...I had such a difficult time the first time, I really don't look forward to experiencing it all over again. I'm afraid that I won't have enough love to go around...Gavin is the light of my life and I love him so very much, how can I ever love another child like that? And am I being fair to Gavin by making him share his mommy and daddy? There are just so many fears lurking in the back of my mind. But at the same time I am excited about our growing family. I know that in time things will get better. Right now I do know that my hormones are all messed up, so everything is so much more dramatic than it really is. Ahh, the joys of pregnancy!!
As for my body changing...I'm only 5 weeks along and already my clothes don't fit! What in the world is going on??? I've been careful about what I eat and I haven't been feeling the greatest, so I know I'm not eating as much either. But I've gained 3 pounds!!! Yikes! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that its just water retention. Water tastes soooo good to me right now and I feel like I just can't get enough. The morning sickness seems to be gone. At least for now anyway. And I'm very tired. In fact, I think I'm going to go sit down right now and rest. :)

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Home, at last!

We are finally moved in to our new home. I can't remember the last time I felt so at ease. I never realized the stress that I was under, or the stress that my marriage was under as well. Gavin has adjusted to the move incredibly well. I thought he would be behaving horribly because of the big changes, but he has amazed me. Sure, he does miss his Nana, thats to be expected, but he seems to really like our new home.
Since the last time I blogged, Gavin has been to his therapist again. He has been making a lot of progress and no longer shows the signs of Sensory Processing Dysfunction. He does have a couple sensory issues (I've been told that everyone has them in some way or another.) He still struggles with hair brushing (even after I cut 4 inches off--SOB!!), and he still screams during bathtime. These are things that need to be worked on and I am hoping that with time and therapy he will overcome these fears. It seems though, for the most part, all of the "problems" he had before was just a phase. Funny how that is what Erin and I thought in the very beginning...
I haven't taken any pictures of our new home yet, since I am still in the unpacking process. As soon as I am done I'll post some pictures. The pictures below are just a couple that I took on one of our last beautiful days of fall.

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