a false alarm and a healthier me...

Well, the past 2 weeks have been quite a rollercoaster for me. I absolutely, positively thought I was pregnant. Erin and I are always careful but we had an oops. A big oops.
In the past, we have talked about when I should get pregnant again. Originally we decided to start trying when Gavin turned 2. Then it moved to January of 2008. Our final decision had been kind of up in the air. Until 2 weeks ago.
When I took an ovulation test (after our oops) and it had 2 lines, I had so many mixed emotions. Part of me was hoping to be pregnant and another part was thinking "no, too soon!". Gavin is such a handful right now, I couldn't imagine being pregnant and running after him. Especially after how I had such a complicated pregnancy with him. I remember feeling, and still have this feeling, that I love Gavin so much. How can I possibly have enough love for 2?
That is a question that I don't need answered right now since I am not pregnant. Just a false alarm. Am I relieved? Yea, but a bit disappointed at the same time. So, baby number 2 will just have to wait for a bit...

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If you haven't noticed, I have a ticker at the top of my page. This is a huge step for me, because I will be documenting my (attempted) weight loss. One of my biggest worries about being pregnant is being pregnant when I still have lots of weight to lose. I won't tell you how much I weigh now, maybe after it's gone, but I do have to lose about 100 lbs. That's my goal. It's going to be hard, but I think if I am public with it, it will help me stick to my goal. We'll see!