OOPS!!!!!

I discovered a big "oops" about a week ago. I found out that I am pregnant with baby number 2! It was a big "oops" because Erin and I had just decided that we were going to wait until (at least) the end of next year before we would start trying for another baby. Looks like God had a different plan.
When I first found out I was totally shocked, numb, unbelieving that this was happening. What was Erin going to say? We just moved into our own place and he just got a new job. We were happy the way things were. We were happy just the three of us. So, for about the first hour that I knew I was pg, I cried. Poor little Gavin was such a sweetie to me, making sure that I was okay. That's when I knew that I needed to pull myself together. I started thinking about things and realized that this is a blessing. It took me such a long time to get pregnant the first time...and this time I didn't even have to try! I think of all the friends we have who are struggling to have babies and realized that I am thankful for the blessings that I have. When Erin came home from work and I told him the news, he felt the same emotions that I did. But he got over it. And now we are both excited about this little one that I am carrying inside of me.
But I am still scared. I broke down a few nights ago and let loose to Erin all of my fears. I'm afraid of the pregnancy itself...I had such a difficult time the first time, I really don't look forward to experiencing it all over again. I'm afraid that I won't have enough love to go around...Gavin is the light of my life and I love him so very much, how can I ever love another child like that? And am I being fair to Gavin by making him share his mommy and daddy? There are just so many fears lurking in the back of my mind. But at the same time I am excited about our growing family. I know that in time things will get better. Right now I do know that my hormones are all messed up, so everything is so much more dramatic than it really is. Ahh, the joys of pregnancy!!
As for my body changing...I'm only 5 weeks along and already my clothes don't fit! What in the world is going on??? I've been careful about what I eat and I haven't been feeling the greatest, so I know I'm not eating as much either. But I've gained 3 pounds!!! Yikes! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that its just water retention. Water tastes soooo good to me right now and I feel like I just can't get enough. The morning sickness seems to be gone. At least for now anyway. And I'm tired...so very tired. In fact, I think I'm going to go sit down right now and rest. :)